Defining Moment
by CMayleenJ
Summary: Drabble: Agent Ward told Skye about a "defining moment" and just now they realized to what cause they are willing for kill for. Spoilers to "Turn, Turn, Turn," don't read if you're suffering feels because this will make is worse, but go ahead if you want to suffer like me.


Author's Note: Spoilers to Turn, Turn, Turn…. I have so many feelings and confusion and I can't compute so I write and hope Skyeward survives because I can't lose faith our beloved Grant Ward would abandon the girl he protected since day 1. I won't believe it!

**Defining Moment**

"_Every Agent has a defining moment… [Deciding] whether they commit [to the cause] or curl up and cry."_

"What, don't think I can't do it?" She braves, but her voice fails her, and she knew it. He heard the tremor in her voice, the trembled of her bottom lip… the shake of the gun in her hand, and while the tears blurred her sight, she knew very well he could see the glistening in her eyes.

And she's right. His eyes trained onto the barrel of the gun –and he was certain it was no _night-night _gun either. He narrowed his gaze from the gun onto her face. It didn't seem right, for her girl of her innocent to be in this situation, and even worse, the sting of guilt stabbing into his chest from dragging into this mess started to burn like venom. Unlike her, he could mask the pain inside.

"No, I don't," he answered coldly. He trained her, taught her what he knew in the short time that had, and within that span, she had an opportunity to shoot Quinn –and failed, instead, jumping out of the window and into the pool rather than spill blood. She paid the price, almost losing her life when Quinn was less than moral to aim three bullets into her stomach, penetrating her internal organs.

"You betrayed us," she croaked, emotions betraying her. She wasn't agent material. She was just a hacker, an oh-eight-four, and a broken girl with unknown origin. She couldn't hide her emotions or mask the pain. She couldn't keep it contained like Agent Ward. But, given a purpose, protecting Coulson, protecting the family she had just discovered, now _that _gave her a dangerous edge, and despite the tears in her eyes, Agent Ward understood how much of a wild card his young rookie was. "You killed people! You killed our own! You sabotaged everything we worked for, what _you _stood for, and you abandoned it. Not just that, _you abandoned us!" _She flared, voice rising. Her gun hitched upwards, closer to his face, a deadly shot, before she faltered, reminding herself that she wasn't a killer, not like him.

Agent Ward refused to raise his gun to her. He wouldn't hurt her. He was hurt she didn't know that, but given the circumstance, he wasn't surprised. _Trust no one, _was the motto for both of them. They could rely on few, and in most cases, only themselves. It had been that way for both of them, him being a specialist and her being an independent hacker, but _Agent _Skye never had to put a bullet in anyone to get what she wanted, nor was she controlled any way or how.

Agent Ward shook his head. "I didn't betray you," he started calmly, hoping to loosen the tense atmosphere but the more agitated she became, the heavier the pressure around them became. "I did what I had to do, to protect you," he assured.

She was caught off-guard but not enough to lower her gun to a false sense of security. She trusted Ward before, and then he betrayed them. She wouldn't make that mistake before.

Agent Ward knew it would be tougher to break past her walls, and persisted, keeping their distance as the gun remained present. While he knew Skye would rather not pull the trigger, her tsunami of emotions compromised her ability to reason. Her logic was skewed, mentality sabotaged. He wouldn't push her past the breaking point as she was always teetering over the edge.

"I had to make sure you were safe but until I knew what the enemy was planning, I wouldn't be able to. You'd be in constant danger. Someone had to be on the other side and Coulson agreed." He continued. Skye remained undeterred, aiming her weapon. "I earned their trust, learned their secrets, and if you hadn't barged in here-"

"So now you're blaming me," she hissed. "You're the one who pulled the trigger! On Agent Hand, on Agent Tripp, on your own men supposedly! How many people have to die before you realize your hands are soaking in blood? Who are you really saving?" She challenged with such bitterness he could taste it on his own tongue.

Agent Ward was aggravated, matching her point of frustration. "No, I'm not!" He yelled. She was slightly started but not taken aback, remaining firmly in place by the exit. "I'm saying I could have gotten more information had it not been for your infiltration! You put yourself in jeopardy and they threatened you. _I had to make a choice!_" In synchronization, their eyes spanned across the room, overlooking the corpses of Hydra's henchmen, killed by none other than Ward himself in a surprising move, "and as you can tell," Ward continued, "I made a choice to protect you, _like always_. Everything I did, everyone I killed, _was for you, Skye!_"

Skye was rendered speechless, challenged by her own arguments, and in her cloud of confusion, she failed to register Ward stepping closer until she was within reaching distance. When her senses finally came though, she raised her gun that had be subconsciously lowered in a moment of distraction. Ward grabbed her wrist, spinning it at an angle where she was at a disadvantage. She was flung backwards into his chest, arms stretched out as he pulled the gun out of her palm, as he had taught her before in their earlier training sessions. She felt so stupid, thinking she could confront Ward when it was obvious he was superior in combat and field –and willing to do the very thing she couldn't pull herself to do, especially to someone she considered an ally, a friend, _family. _

"I would never hurt you Skye, not intentionally. I thought you knew that," he murmured into her ear, while trapping her in his grip. She felt his cold breath ghost down her neck, grazing her cheek, and pushing a stray strand of hair away from behind her ear. His calloused hands were tight over her forearms, keeping her in place. He was thankful their hand-to-hand combat wasn't as efficiently covered in their short time span or else he'd be combatting a much fiercer struggle with a much more capable agent. Luckily, Skye's lack of experience gave him the opportunity he needed to reason with her.

"Is that why you didn't pull your gun out on me?" Skye retorted sourly, turning her head so she wouldn't catch his burning eyes in her peripheral vision. Her hair fell forward, providing a curtain between them, and he was tempted to pull it back behind her ear so he could continue watching her reddening expression, still marveled by her purity that remained untainted in her pink cheeks and doe eyes.

"You know there was no use in that," he replied. "We couldn't pull the trigger on another. You couldn't do when you tried. I didn't bother knowing it'd be useless."

"What stopped you," she continued, rejecting his sentimentality as she reminded herself that he was a traitor, eyeing the destruction and death that surrounded them. He betrayed everyone. Her, Coulson, Hand, Hydra… anyone who stood in his way. But a voice that resembled his cut through her hate, urging her to consider that he never hurt her, not physically anyway, and even now, trapped in his steel grip, vulnerable like a rabbit in death's jaws, he didn't make a move to wound her in the slightest.

"You know the answer to that," Ward claimed, and deep down, they both knew what he was referring to.

"You killed people before, and not just bad ones anymore. You killed S.H.I.E.L.D agents, Hydra agents, anyone that stood in your way. What makes me any different," she spat, this time trying to pull away but he refused to let to her go. If anything, he held her closer, enjoying their close proximity after months of distance.

"Because I killed them _for you," _he answered hotly. She felt the tension in his tendons, as his fingers tightened around her flesh. "Skye, you may question my loyalty to S.H.I.E.L.D, to Hydra, but never, _ever _question my loyalty to you. I killed an innocent man, but I killed him under the assumption he was targeting you, and I don't regret my intention, just like I don't regret leaving you under Coulson's care to ensure your safety. I know you won't like it, and maybe you won't understand it, not now anyways, but one day, someday, I hope you can forgive me."

Skye's brows knitted together, unable to fathom the chaos of thoughts ricocheting from one side of her mind to another, never settling, never tying together. She was confused, doubtful, but at the same, clinging onto some floating sense of hope she felt slipping farther away with each passing day. She didn't want to give it up but at the same, dreading the fall after her denial had withered.

Grant Ward spun her around to face him, to force her to see his confession with her own eyes. She had the ability to see through him, to see human motives and complexities that escaped him. He was desperate. He clung onto the hope the Skye he knew and loved was still able to get under his skin, past his façade, and into his core like she had when they bonded. "You have to believe me," he pleaded softly, bowing his head lower as if to meet her level. Their height difference was significant but nonetheless fixable. He could feel the heat of her flesh as he knelt closer, bringing their foreheads together. She was so warm. It was one of her many unique qualities that drew him in.

"I…" she stuttered, caught in the abyss of his dark orbs. She searched for the honesty she heard in his voice, a voice the longed to hear after months of searching and hoping. "I… don't…" she fell into a whisper, and in that same moment, as that last word was sputtered from her pale lips, he felt his heart go weak in a pitiful patter. "…trust anyone," Skye reaffirmed, before grabbing his knife from his belt and shoving it under his chin, close to his artery. He was shoved back into the wall, cornered by Skye as she pressed the blade against his skin, the coldness contrasting against the warm feel of her fingers pressing over a similar patch of skin. "Neither should you," she added. "If there is anything I learned for you, other than this," she referred to her successful tactic to 'flip the table,' "it's that getting too close to people will open you up for betrayal. You can't trust anyone these days. They're all numbered one way or another."

"You won't do it," he braved, but his pulse said otherwise as he longed for her to come closer, for the blade to be tossed aside and for her to close the remainder of distance between them. "You aren't capable of it."

"You're right, I can't," she agreed but her voice remained steady, eyes hard like his in a rare form of disdain that soiled her glowing features. "I'm not a killer and even if you are a traitor, I won't lower myself into one for the sake of revenge." She stepped back, blade in hand, but angled sharply for a quick defensive swipe if Ward attempted to confront her again. "You're still my S.O. and I'll give you the same decency you gave Garrett by not killing you," she huffed angrily, "even if he did plot my murder. I believe in justice, not vengeance."

She tossed the blade down between them. "Come back to me when you have faith again in S.H.I.E.L.D and what it represents," there she went, giving him a second chance seemingly, providing the forgiveness he sought, "but I can't assure that S.H.I.E.L.D will grant you the same welcoming, oh, and you can forget about that drink," she spat, narrowing her eyes into dangerous slits. "Loyalty and trust go hand-in-hand, once you lose it, it's nearly impossible to get it back."

Grant felt her harsh words pierce his armor and wondered if she had knocked the wind out of his lungs or if it was just the impact of her push that had shoved him against the wall.

"It's not S.H.I.E.L.D I'm concerned about," Ward called out, stopping her in her tracks. She tensed but refused to grant him a look, determined to keep looking ahead. She was done wallowing in the past.

"I'm sure you will find an excuse to explain this to Hydra," she cut back, tightening her hands into fists.

"I'm not making excuses, especially not to Hydra," he retorted. She felt her confidence break and almost turned her neck to glance over her shoulder but caught herself just in time.

"I meant every word I said, Skye. I did what I thought was necessary to protect you, and I succeeded. You're here, _alive." _

"Shut up, Ward. I don't want to hear it," Skye demanded. She didn't turn around to see Ward shrug as he pushed himself into a standing position.

"Fine by me," Ward accepted casually, "but I've committed myself to a cause, pulling the trigger more times than I can count, and you can count it wasn't S.H.I.E.L.D I'm referring to, Skye."


End file.
